Conflict

Many of us have negative associations with conflict. We often view it as a red flag indicating that something is wrong with a relationship of ours, or more commonly, with the other person we're in disagreement with. So we look to assign blame to ourselves or someone else to locate "the problem."

Breathe easy; conflict is a good and natural occurrence. It can indicate "growing pains" of a healthy, evolving relationship. Difficult and heated conversations can create greater trust, understanding and intimacy -- once you get to the other side.

According to American Psychologist Randall Harrison, its estimated that only 35% of human communication is conveyed through the spoken word. The other 65% of communication is done through nonverbal communication and the vocal qualities of speech.

During a hostile confrontation between two people, both parties will naturally assume either defensive or aggressive nonverbal behavior without even thinking about it. These aggressive nonverbal cues include, but are not limited to:

One minute you seem like lovesick turtledoves teasing, laughing and giggling with all your might. Then a few minutes later, you begin yelling and berating each other and a lover's quarrel is already in progress. A little bantering was all it took to stoke up a rising emotional tension.

Every now and then, no matter how close and intimate a couple is, an argument occasionaly looms to create a tide in the relationship. Although sometimes it shakes a relationship down to its very core, if handled well, it is healthy and
can help create lasting relationships. Here is a list of what couples like you usually argue about and what you should do whenever you are faced with another petty bickering.